Just Looking For an Escape

Just Looking For an Escape

Tuition… nearly had a melt down in from of him because I’m fucking retarded with numbers. Also, my phone is the same as his ex’s, so I felt like an insensitive bitch when he mentioned that (hid it under the table for the rest of the session).

Called the family when he’d left and they were all like “oh my god we’re just chilling on Orchard Road and having fun but you stay there at home because it’s really boring and if we do something we’ll call lolololol”.

They still haven’t called.

I’ve blogged about 600 new pictures on Tumblr and I know I should do work but I just feel so shitty. Can’t stop listening to the latest Muse album over and over again. Good stuff.

It’s about to rain (how’s that for pathetic fallacy) so I should probably go get the rellie’s clothes off the line outside.

I just want to leave already. Staying here isn’t good for my freaking sanity. It’s like I’m slowly dying inside and I can’t be bothered to save myself.

What a pitiful mood to be in.

School usually boosts my mood, being around my friends and all, but I don’t know how cheerful this week will be now that I’ve come to despise some teachers and people and my friends are in blue moods from uni shit. I want to be there for my friends, but I hardly have my own shit together, how can I help others? Plus we have two basketball games and I just lajskvbyikjg. Don’t want to move. Don’t want to do anything.

I need a fresh start, but I have to wait another 5 months before I finish school (and that is far too short a time for me to revise enough to get good grades on my exams). My friends tease me that I never work, which is true. But it’s also untrue, because I do revise. I just hate being at home, at the same time I get fuck all done at school.

UGH I HATE BEING THIS PATHETIC! But I’m home alone with nothing better to do. It’s to the point where I don’t even want to help myself by going outside and seeing friends because something in me genuinely doesn’t want other people to see me like this. I’m not like this. This isn’t my personality. I’m fun and bubbly and upbeat and silly. Serious when the situation calls for it. Shitty when my friends tease me, but not too angry.

But mopey? I don’t do mopey. Yet here I am. Fucking hormones. That’s what I’ll blame it on. I hate being a girl sometimes.

PS- Can we just take a moment to notice how fucking perfect my curl is! I noticed it in the mirror and tried to get a good photo of it… but couldn’t. Frustrating but whatever.

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