Terrible, Terrible Day.

Terrible, Terrible Day.

Ugh.

That’s all I can say and all I want to say.

Maths Paper 2 was awful. Chinese Paper 1 was alright. Chinese Paper 2 was, again, awful.

I don’t feel worthy of living right now. I am so UGH!! Done with myself. So done. My brain is too feeble to do the IB. I should have known better.

I’m in a pretty icky mood to be honest. The weather outside reflects that. Yet again I’m subject to pathetic fallacy, but this time I do not approve because the damn rain means I can’t walk up and buy some Bubble Tea to cheer myself up.

It’s quarter to 6 on a Friday night and I’m still at school because neither of my parents saw fit to check their phones when I text BOTH of them.

POSITIVE! BE POSITIVE!

Jeez.

Dad is on his way and he says he’ll let me get Bubble Tea on the way home. That’s nice. Paper 2 for Chinese wasn’t bad. That’s good. I am now officially finished with 4 out of my 6 subjects…

…I don’t know how to feel about that.

I only have Biology and Chemistry left. Next Friday will be the day of my freedom. I just need to survive until then.

I’ve completely given up all hope that I’ll come close to achieving 38 points. I’m not smart enough. I can’t understand the exams. I can’t remember enough. My writing isn’t fluent enough. I’m just NOT GOOD ENOUGH…

…NO!

Nonononono… stop. Positive.

Bubble tea.

How the frex do I tell my tutor I’m pretty sure I bombed the Maths Paper 2?

Stop!

Who cares what you get! So what you don’t get 38 points… as long as you get 36 you can go to the UK. If you get less than that then you can go to Australia! You cannot let your life be defined by a few numbers on a piece of paper. You are more than a piece of paper. You are more than the University you go to.

Screw all this IB crap. I don’t need it. I just need to work and earn money until I can afford to take myself on a tour of the Ancient Sites in Greece. That’s all I’ll need once this IB nightmare is over.

Finishing exams is just another step towards Greece.

This bump in the road will be insignificant to my happiness later in life.

Life is what I make of it and I plan to make the most of everyday.

Screw IB.

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