Phuket Day 3

Phuket Day 3

Chimmercharlie hasn’t been feelin’ too hot recently… well, actually, TOO hot (gettit- fever- too hot? Teehee). Anyway, she’s stayed in bed all day while I went out with a few people for lunch (brought her some back).

I didn’t actually emerge from the bed until about 1pm 😛

Last night was… controversial. To say the least.

We all went on 10,000 mile walkies up the beach to get some seafood. Well, four people wanted seafood, so naturally, the other 8 of us had to walk at the mercy of their whims. Well, one guy’s whim really. *Rolls eyes*

Eventually we found a place and okay fine, I’ll admit the food was cheaper, but it did take a long time to find and everyone was hungry and therefore grumpy (annoying thing is that the seafood place across the road from the hotel that we ALMOST ate at last night… we’re going to tonight- I don’t know, is that annoying? It is to me :P).

After dinner Chimmercharlie went back to the hotel with Staples and convinced me to stay out (I was reluctant but I went). The Alumni cohort then WALKED the rest of the way to Bangla Street and headed straight for ‘Silk’, our chosen “hang out” location. Apparently. It’s one of the smallest places on the street and sure it looks cool because it’s a boat shape that’s one floor up… but it’s really impractical. You can only really fit 15 people up there and we’re trying to cram close to 100 people in there. Never mind OTHER tourists.

I didn’t particularly feel like buying 4 tequila shots for 100 baht, or a BUCKET of vodka + mixer… so 4 other friends and I decided to find a Ping Pong show we’d heard so much about. We found one (didn’t take too long, you stand still for a second and about 5 people flock to you with menu’s…) and followed the guy to the TEENIEST room and within mere seconds of being seated the entirety of the graduating class that was out that night had joined us in there. It was absolutely heaving.

That’s where the drama began.

The very first thing we saw was this white guy lying on the stage floor with a towel over his naughty bits and a completely nude chick rubbing *cough cough* herself against his groin then up his chest to practically suffocate him with her butt… then back down. When she decided she was done she got up and yanked his towel off- exposing him to everyone for about 2 seconds before the lights went out.

Now, with this being the VERY FIRST ACT our yeargroup had ever seen, I’m frankly beyond myself that they were shocked at the next time they asked for audience participation. But that part comes later, before that we saw a multitude of the weird and wonderful (<– in the broadest sense of the word). Let's just say these women are TALENTED!

I couldn't do ANY of what they're doing. Every girl's face was a mixture of disgust, awe and a tiny dash of jealousy. The guys were confused as to whether they should be throwing up or turned on. Their faces were almost as hilarious as the show. Almost.

We saw one woman pull about 20m of glow in the dark beads out of herself, then another woman upped the anti with razors, another with needles, then finally the infamous live bird act, followed up with one of the earlier performers shooting a banana out and catching it… repeatedly. Very impressive.

Then there was a mild interlude with women coming out and dancing semi-traditionally (not at all erotic slut drops or anything), topless, with candles. Followed by another woman with three candles in each hand, dripping wax on her self before finally putting the flames out in her mouth o.O

Three women then came out pretending to be the "Dream Girls" trio, they stripped and danced a little before exiting the stage for the "grand finale" of our stay (the continued after we left, but for us this was the last thing we saw)…

AND FINALLY we've come to the audience participation. Most of the girls who were with boyfriends were sat on them. Most, but not all.

Three women dressed as slutty police women came out with two chairs. They pulled up two of the guys from our group (we were pretty much the only people there- who else were they going to friggin' pick), one had a girlfriend, the other didn't. Apparently the second the boyfriend was picked the girlfriend up and ran out crying, even though the guy really tried to get away from being picked, the women just wouldn't let him.

The boyfriend was put in the front seat, the single guy in the back- blindfolded and told to put his hands in the prayer position. The first guy was stripped of his shirt and one of the ladies had two hollow rubber tube things, which she promptly began whacking him with.

For goodness sake, as macho as he'd have liked to have pretended, if it had hurt he would of reacted. He didn't. Ergo, the noise was a lot worse than the actual physical contact of rubber on skin. Everyone was screaming with laughter. Then the lady yanked his legs apart and began savagely rubbing his crotch, it was like watching a baker knead dough- it couldn't have been comfortable. The rubber tubes came out again and she hit him between the legs. I repeat, had this have been painful, SURELY he would have doubled over or thrown up??

Off came his shorts, on went the handcuffs and just like that the atmosphere changed. He tried, again unsuccessfully, to run off the stage at this point. Standing only in boxers before his entire graduating class, the ladies promptly began giving him the mother of all wedgies. Then they tied some string under the crotch of his boxers so they could lead him around by the crotch I'm guessing… only they didn't get that far because the best friend of his girlfriend got up on stage and pushed the performer away, standing in front of the guy with her arms crossed and her eyes shooting daggers.

There was a half minute stand off between the two women before the girl stormed over to the second guy and ripped off his blindfold. I can only imagine his utter confusion. The first guy and the girl who'd disrupted the show were quickly led away.

The performers tried to make everything back to normal by starting over with the second guy- who appeared to relish under the attention. They took his shirt off and hit him with the tubes, but it wasn't long before the girl came back onto the stage, pulling the second guy off with her. She was kicked out and it was like pulling the plug on a bath, the place was empty within a minute.

I felt so bad for the performers, at the same time I understand the sentiments of the yeargroup. I don't know who I sympathise more with… though it's clear who's side the yeargroup are on.

The girlfriend was waiting outside, drunk off her face (but she'd been drunk since the start- probably should have mentioned that) with 4 other friends. Once we'd all filed out she went kicking and screaming after her boyfriend's best friend- yelling at him for not going up and getting him and stopping the show despite his desperate, imploring looks around at his fellow classmates.

It was lose/lose all around I suppose. The performers had no clue that he had a girlfriend, they were just doing their jobs! Those ladies stand there every night and are watched as they degrade themselves, so what they pulled an unsuspecting guy onto the stage, if it was dangerous (to the guy) it wouldn't have happened. They've probably done that routine a thousand times. Only this time they chose the wrong guy out of a group of nearly a hundred drunk 18 year olds on their Grad Trip. It really, really wasn't their fault!

Sure no-one knew explicitly what we were getting into, everyone agrees we thought the guys were going to get a lap dance, but come on- we were at an XXX show watching women pull razors from their vaginas. We weren't exactly in a place with a high moral code. Had the show have gone on they probably would have pulled his boxers down as their finale, if the first guy we saw was any indication, but no one knows.

This is exactly why I didn't want to see a Ping Pong show with this group. I wanted to sneak off with a few other friends and see one as a small group, granted it was for different reasons- I thought the boys would whoop and holler and be generally disgusting and embarrassing. But still, my gut instinct had been right- this isn't the sort of thing a hundred kids should be going to in the same place. Shit will go down.


Anyway, Chimmercharlie hasn't seen one yet… I might go back to a different one with her later in the week, we have 3 nights left, well 2, not counting tonight.

After the Ping Pong disaster we all headed over to a club called "Seduction" where girls got free entry and guys paid a whopping 200 baht ("What a fucking rip off" *rolls eyes*) to get in.

For those of you who don't know, 200 baht is around 8 Singapore dollars. Guys usually pay around $30. Rich white kids on tour can really piss me off sometimes -.-

The club was quite empty at first, but as the Grad Class filled in it became a pumping club with a full dance floor in no time. My school has this effect on places. By 1am my little group decided to call it quits and head back to the hotel.

By foot.

I wanted to scream. We're in a foreign country with a bunch of drunk or sobering up teenagers. It's 1 in the morning, heaven forbid we should split the 200 baht it'd cost to get a tuk tuk back to the hotel, nooooo, we had to walk.

Two of the girls had been really offended by the show (though later they had calmed down a lot) and were really on edge, one of them even swore at one of the guys offering stuff to buy because he called her a "sexy lady" (which isn't uncommon, today I got told my bra was nice… even though it wasn't visible, just so I'd hopefully stop and catch sight of something in his shop). People here can be quite shameless when it comes to advertising their stuff, they're a bit tactless but it's possibly because they don't understand what they're saying… Still, swearing isn't the necessary response, ignoring is.

Everyone was tired and keyed up from the show, a tuk tuk would have been the sensible choice, not taking the scenic route down by the beach.

We all survived though, so I can't be too bitter about it.

So yeah, today I woke up at 1pm and went out for lunch at the main mall with a group of friends, I bought an owl bag :3

Then I brought some food back for Chimmercharlie who is thankfully feeling a bit better. We've watched an episode and a half of 'Supernatural' and we're starting to think about getting ready for dinner. We're meeting people in the lobby in around 10 minutes time so I should really stop writing.




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