It’s Getting Close

It's Getting Close

Nearly going to be a graduate! High school officially ends in 45 minutes and I’m so scared… I can feel my heart beating a little harder and there’s a trembling in my fingers…

I don’t know if I’m ready to grow up yet. It’s like I’m a baby bird about to be catapulted out of her nest- I’ll either be able to learn to fly or I’ll fall to my death… even if my flying is jilted from bad technique- at least it’s better than smooshing into the ground.

Does that analogy make any sense?

I’m in a weird place right now.

We watched “The Little Mermaid” in Biology (hurhurhur) and our teacher wrote us all personalised poems. In English we watched two TED Talks, which were pretty interesting. In Philosophy my awesome teacher gave us all these Chinese jade keychain things- “Plato’s Pig” I think she called it. I’ll have to check though.

Aside from that I’m trying not to think about exams starting in TWO WEEKS FROM NOW OMFG! This time in two weeks I’ll have finished my first IB exam. Shoot me.


3 More High School Wake Ups


So that was a fun morning assembly. Goodness I can’t wait to get out of this damn school. I suppose the silver lining is that that was the very last assembly with my HOY I’ll ever have… except for the graduation assembly we have on Friday that I’ll be leaving early from for rehearsals.

Every damn week he does the countdown.

Today he FINALLY brought up Prom and was like: “oh hey lol there’s a prom email going out tonight lol yeah do the form and get the cheque and bring it in tomorrow or else lol”. I want to throttle him.

Then he went on to talk about Muck Up Day and how it shouldn’t be called “Muck Up” Day and that we’re essentially getting rid of it thanks to last year’s cohort. Which is great. Not. One by one they’re whittling away our “Sixth Form Privileges”.

We have a fire drill during P2 so that should be interesting… today is pretty full on actually…

P1- Normal
P2- Fire drill
Break- Ladakh meeting + See HOY about acapella performance on Friday
P3- Concert rehearsals
P4- Normal (ughhhh it’s English… might try to skip it… but he has DEFINITELY seen me in school so I’ll need to be very careful about how I do this…)
Lunch- Choir rehersals
P5- Normal
P6- Normal (but I have an essay due in that I haven’t done, whoops)
Biology Tuition
Maths Tuition

And then I get to stop and breathe and TRY to get an English essay done for tomorrow. IBFML. No, I am the main reason I’m in this shitty position. I don’t know how to get my act together… I’ll sort it out somehow.


You guys were a bit funny yesterday, the searches that got you here were quite nice!


All except the marshmallow death one were quite sweet! 😛

Last High School Holiday Ever


I let Chimmercharlie do my make up…

(She needed it for her Theatre coursework- never fear, we’re not THAT weird… most of the time)

I can’t believe it. Tomorrow I go back to school. Ew.

Today was alright. I had my hair cut (HATE HAIRDRESSERS OMG **sees red**), which apparently required 2 people. Ugh. The actually CUTTING of the hair REALLY sucks though… I’ve been growing it for about 6 years now :/

After that I got the MRT to Chimmercharlie’s for lunch. We finished Season 3!!! I just started Season 4 of ‘Supernatural’! OMG SO GOOD! YAY I’VE FINALLY MET CAS!!!!!

As for work/revision- nada. I’m working on that now though. Fingers crossed I’ll get all my Chinese writing papers in… that’s the one I’m most concerned about. Then Philo… then English… in short- I’m screwed (Y)

Oh well, I better get cracking. Bye!!

It’s just weird beyond belief that I’ll never have a school holiday at my school EVER AGAIN! No more half term breaks, no more term breaks, no more summer holidays… *shudder*

Going Through the Motions

Going Through the Motions

6 days left of school.

Just did (read: failed) my Chem test. Oh well, haha, I didn’t revise. I really need to start. Option B is a bit annoying in that it looks familiar (because of Bio) but then… it’s not. Haha.

Oh well. I’ll just go through the test open book tomorrow.

It’s Book Day tomorrow! Have to come in dressed as Goldilocks. Haven’t even started getting the outfit together so tonight is going to be interesting… :/

What else? I’m in Maths… have English next… then we have our “Year 13” Graduation photo (we stand in the form of a “13” and get a photo. It’s tradition. After that it’s acapella rehearsal, I’ve tried to make it compulsory today… we’ll see how that goes!

That’s about it. Every so often I have to stop myself from thinking too much about the fact that I only have ~21 lessons left in this place. Or from thinking about Jared Padalecki. I’m looking forwards to tomorrow. I know my heart is about to be shattered into a million pieces… I still want to do it. Watch it all. Get Season 2 under my belt. I want to be a good fangirl and Supernaturalist.

Ugh. I hate IB.


Run Through

Run Through

I sang LOUD! Well… louder than I usually do! So I’m happy about that. English was a total farce. TOTAL farce. The whole thing was staged from beginning to end- he even did a cringe-worthy “Davis-Dance” (I didn’t even look up, he started talking about how we’d “never see this again” and how he was “embarrassing himself because our points were so good they moved him to dance”. Yeah. I didn’t acknowledge him. At all.)

Ummmm, so yeah. English made me wish the floor would swallow me.

Now I’m in Chemistry and jeeeeeeeez- I’m glad I’m in a good mood because my Chemistry teacher just sat down with me and “had a cosy chat” about how I’m dealing with the BioChem Option so far. Shoot me.

I have to revise for Philosophy now. I reaaaaaaaally don’t want to fail the timed essay. I feel like I’ve been letting her down lately and this is my chance to win back her faith in me as an HL Philosophy student. Haha!

I’m expecting my Biology teacher to burst in at any moment to ask me to sign off my IAs to be sent off to some place in the big, wide world. Scary times.


Near Events and Fangirling

Near Events and Fangirling

So there’s 36 days until exams.
And there’s 7 days until school’s out forever.

Something around 3 months until I graduate.

And from what my friends tell me… I have until Friday night to try and memorise what it feels like to be whole. I’m sleeping at Chimmercharlie’s house on Thursday night and we’re “going to school” on Friday (we’ll be on Easter holiday as of Friday) and so I’ll have until about 7-8pm on Friday.

We’re going to try and finish Season 2. I hear very scary things about Season 2. As a Team Sam fangirl… apparently the ending Season 2 will leave me on the floor gasping for air like a fish out of water…

It’s going to be bad. I’m almost temped to not watch to the end, but I know I won’t get a chance to later… I want to catch up with the girls so bad. SO BAD! But not at the cost that I know is unavoidable. Thinking about what could possibly damage me so hard at the end of this season makes my heart hurt.

PLUS I’ve reached my Tumblr reblog limit (grrrrrrr), which means I’m just torturing myself as I scroll through all these posts that I want… no… NEED on my blog that are about beautiful men (like my Jared, or my Aaron and such like).

I’ve got to revise now… two songs on repeat- Imagine Dragons’ “It’s Time” and “Radioactive”… yes I am aware just how far behind I am on music trends, haha.

So Thursday-Friday is going to be fun. Expect lots of ugly crying photos. LOTS. Expect me to fangirl and moan and try to rip my heart out…

I won’t be able to tear it from myself though because I’ve already given it to Jared. I won’t be able to surrender it because it’s going to have been torn out already. The season ending is going to be brutal. And it only gets worse from there I hear.

I really have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into. I thought I did. I never wanted this. This deep, dark, dank hole. It’s testing my limits, pushing my fangirling to new heights.

I don’t want to watch Supernatural but I NEED TO *desperate gasping*

English after this… ew.

Okay. Breathe.

Keep calm and keep up the pretense of studying.
#IB Mantra


Decisions, Decisions…

Decisions, Decisions...

Do I ask to miss period 6 Philosophy in order to go to a University Roadshow at school? If I do then I get to talk to Exeter… if I don’t then I have to just google information on the University…

Ugh. I can’t decide. I’m tempted… maybe for just half the lesson? But I haven’t been doing everything perfectly in class and I don’t want her to think I’m cutting or slacking…

ARGH! I want to talk to Exeter… but I’m not sure what I’d say :/

Every University I’ve ever spoken to, unless it’s the actual Classics Department, have no idea about their lesser known courses (like the ones I’m interested in). Then it’d be a total waste of time…

UGH! All of this has been brought on by that horrible girl in my English class… she’s in charge of our Graduation Video and in that we all have to take a photo with our names, university and degrees… and I had no university to put down. It got me thinking/ worrying/ stressing.


Bad Idea & Late Nights

Bad Idea & Late Nights

So. I might have stayed up until 3:15am with Chimmercharlie last night. Maybe o.O

I feel tired, but not dead. That’s gotta count for something right?

I’m not going to first period Chinese- so that means……. Chemistry 2nd period… she won’t bug me I don’t think, so I technically have 2 morning frees… followed by 3rd period free. Might go to sign off my Biology IAs at break.

Have to finish my Philosophy and my Chinese today… Philosophy has a better chance honestly (only because it’s in English)…

Today marks the start of the official countdown. Four days left this week- we break up on Thursday.

9 days until we break up for study leave.

8 days from today will be my last day as a student here.


Internal Screaming

Photo on 2013-03-22 at 12.49 #2

So. Um. Yeah. Um.

I just signed off on all my Chemistry IAs. ALL OF THEM. OMFG. This is actually happening people! IB is ENDING!

I signed off ALL my IAs! All the hatred and lack of sleep that I channelled into them… it’s all being sent off to be judged by some strange person in somewhere in the world… Azerbaijan (yes, this is an Eddie Izzard reference, please laugh accordingly) for all I know!

All 65 hours of pain.

But you know what?

I got a pleasant surprise! I was pretty sure I’d failed all my IAs, they were SOO terrible BUT I actually got 39/48!! WHAT THE HELL!! (IN A GOOD WAY!) OMG! I got sooooo much higher than I thought! I probably got moderated up, so I REALLY hope I’m not chosen for external moderation because then I might go back down again.


Anyway. I’ve handed in a Paper 1 for English and now I’m off to listen to a Classics Lecture (instead of choir). Very exciting! Today has gone SO MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTED!! 😀


9 Days More…

9 Days More...

Have you guessed yet? Yup, it’s another Mufti at my school. I have 2 more in the time I have left at my school.

I finish schooling here **forever** in 9 days. That’s it. In 9 days I leave the school premises and NEVER have to come back for a lesson ever again.


I feel sick to my stomach and light as a feather.

I can’t believe I’m going to be closing this chapter of my life. As much as I hate certain teachers… I’ve had possibly the best 14 years of my life here- and now it’s all ending.

It’s a nervous, jittery feeling. The thought of flying the coup. Actually *getting out*. Being an adult.

We just had an assembly about finances (in the UK… but the thought of money management alone has my inner child running and screaming in the other direction). I can hardly keep within my pocket money allowance. How the hell am I going to be able to handle University money?

I’m in English… have to do an essay by the end of the lesson so I need to get to work now. I’d planned to write more in my 3rd period free… but no, my Maths teacher is demanding we come in for an extra lesson. It’s either 3rd or 6th… I think I might go in for 6th. I’ll be at school anyway…

It’s so strange to sit in these classrooms and know my days are numbered. I feel like one of the barricade boys in ‘Les Mis’, haha.

Part of me can’t wait until the day before the last day so that I can sing “One Day More” at the top of my lungs (all the parts. In tune. In character). Haha!

Last night I lay on my bed talking to Chimmercharlie for about half an hour on the phone. Except neither of us were using our hands. I was lying on my bed with my phone lying on my face. She was lying *on* her phone. We’ve officially reached *that* age. You know, where everything is just too much so you act like a potato.

So yeah, better get back to the essay.


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