It’s Getting Close

It's Getting Close

Nearly going to be a graduate! High school officially ends in 45 minutes and I’m so scared… I can feel my heart beating a little harder and there’s a trembling in my fingers…

I don’t know if I’m ready to grow up yet. It’s like I’m a baby bird about to be catapulted out of her nest- I’ll either be able to learn to fly or I’ll fall to my death… even if my flying is jilted from bad technique- at least it’s better than smooshing into the ground.

Does that analogy make any sense?

I’m in a weird place right now.

We watched “The Little Mermaid” in Biology (hurhurhur) and our teacher wrote us all personalised poems. In English we watched two TED Talks, which were pretty interesting. In Philosophy my awesome teacher gave us all these Chinese jade keychain things- “Plato’s Pig” I think she called it. I’ll have to check though.

Aside from that I’m trying not to think about exams starting in TWO WEEKS FROM NOW OMFG! This time in two weeks I’ll have finished my first IB exam. Shoot me.

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Confidential

Confidential

This right here is a list of my pranks for one of my teachers. Lots of prep crammed into a few A4 pages.

By “lots” I mean what I could scrape from my mind today during our rehearsals. I had one lesson today- Chemistry- we sat around eating chocolate cake. That’s it. We had acapella rehearsals after school and it’s really coming together!

Seeing as we’re the finale piece of the whole school assembly I’d damn well hope we’re coming together!! Haha! It should be good! ­čśÇ

So…. yeah… everything is totally out of control, but in a good way. We’re stressing about fun things for once.

There’s so much work to do tomorrow. SO MUCH WORK. I tell you, it should be great. I’ll list my pranks and upload photos etc on Friday or Saturday (I’m not taking the risk of fellow schoolmates finding them early) :3

Night all! ­čÖé

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End of Another Day

End of Another Day

Argh this is all moving so fast. The stress is obvious at the moment because my skin is AWFUL… it hasn’t been this bad since I first encountered puberty. Ughhh.

Just finishing Chemistry (in which I’ve done no chemistry and only revised for a Descartes timed essay up next) and about to head to my doom… *cough cough* I meant to say Philosophy lesson. She gave us a P3 mock paper yesterday, the finished essay due today… but I didn’t finish it… So I wrote a plan of the essay (it’s a looong plan- 3 sides!) and hope she won’t kill me. I’ve finished 2 other essay plans that were due WEEKS (dare I say MONTHS) ago…

We have a Descartes (P2) mock paper and I’m so screwed… I haven’t really revised Philosophy (*ehem* anything *ehem*) over the holidays and so I’m worried I’ll screw it up and give her a heart attack… :/

I really need to get to the class… it started 5-7 minutes ago and my Chemistry teacher hasn’t dismissed us yet. Jeepers.

The good news about tomorrow is that I hardly have ANY lessons tomorrow. Concert rehearsals are going on ALL day and I only have half a Chemistry lesson that I have to go to… the rest of it is singing and chilling. YAY ME! Then we have acapella rehearsals after school…

Ooooooh… which reminds me… I have two tuition sessions after school today. Ouch… :S

Anyway, I spoke with our HOY at break and he was no help at all (like a fireplace without fire) and so we have the option to perform whenever we like on Friday… UGH! I just want a concrete YES you perform HERE or NO you perform THERE! There are two assemblies on Friday and so I have no idea what’s going on…….. aegosuishfljkes

Not to mention I’ll only be in the 2nd assembly for about half an hour because we have to go to dress rehearsals because the concert is that night.

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3 More High School Wake Ups

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So that was a fun morning assembly. Goodness I can’t wait to get out of this damn school. I suppose the silver lining is that that was the very last assembly with my HOY I’ll ever have… except for the graduation assembly we have on Friday that I’ll be leaving early from for rehearsals.

Every damn week he does the countdown.

Today he FINALLY brought up Prom and was like: “oh hey lol there’s a prom email going out tonight lol yeah do the form and get the cheque and bring it in tomorrow or else lol”. I want to throttle him.

Then he went on to talk about Muck Up Day and how it shouldn’t be called “Muck Up” Day and that we’re essentially getting rid of it thanks to last year’s cohort. Which is great. Not. One by one they’re whittling away our “Sixth Form┬áPrivileges”.

We have a fire drill during P2 so that should be interesting… today is pretty full on actually…

P1- Normal
P2- Fire drill
Break- Ladakh meeting + See HOY about acapella performance on Friday
P3- Concert rehearsals
P4- Normal (ughhhh it’s English… might try to skip it… but he has┬áDEFINITELY┬áseen me in school so I’ll need to be very careful about how I do this…)
Lunch- Choir rehersals
P5- Normal
P6- Normal (but I have an essay due in that I haven’t done, whoops)
Biology Tuition
Maths Tuition

And then I get to stop and breathe and TRY to get an English essay done for tomorrow. IBFML. No, I am the main reason I’m in this shitty position. I don’t know how to get my act together… I’ll sort it out somehow.

Whatever.

You guys were a bit funny yesterday, the searches that got you here were quite nice!

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All except the marshmallow death one were quite sweet! ­čśŤ

Back To School One Last Time

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Oh dear god. I’m here. It’s here. This is finally happening. I’m in the final countdown until my last day of high school EVER.

Last night I watched about 5-6 hours of behind the scenes/ comicon interviews for Supernatural. SO FREAKING GOOD. But now my eyes are sore as hell.

Somehow I changed my background desktop picture too… I have no idea how to turn it back or if I even WANT to turn it back… it’s a still from “A Day in Jared and Jensen’s Life”. (OMG WHY ARE THEY SO GODLIKE AND BEAUTIFUL)… it’s from their make-up trailer bit where Jared’s eating all the candies :3

Here:

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*gurgles*

*collapses*

*convulses*

Excuse me while I scrape my ovaries off the wall…

It’s certainly an improvement on my previous background (my IB exam schedule- which I now know by heart) and I certainly need his gorgeous face to get me through each hellish day. I really make this much harder for myself than it needs to be. If only I would do the freaking work… :/

Last High School Holiday Ever

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I let Chimmercharlie do my make up…

(She needed it for her Theatre coursework- never fear, we’re not THAT weird… most of the time)

I can’t believe it. Tomorrow I go back to school. Ew.

Today was alright. I had my hair cut (HATE HAIRDRESSERS OMG **sees red**), which apparently required 2 people. Ugh. The actually CUTTING of the hair REALLY sucks though… I’ve been growing it for about 6 years now :/

After that I got the MRT to Chimmercharlie’s for lunch. We finished Season 3!!! I just started Season 4 of ‘Supernatural’! OMG SO GOOD! YAY I’VE FINALLY MET CAS!!!!!

As for work/revision- nada. I’m working on that now though. Fingers crossed I’ll get all my Chinese writing papers in… that’s the one I’m most concerned about. Then Philo… then English… in short- I’m screwed (Y)

Oh well, I better get cracking. Bye!!

It’s just weird beyond belief that I’ll never have a school holiday at my school EVER AGAIN! No more half term breaks, no more term breaks,┬áno more summer holidays… *shudder*

Choices

Current Status: Revising at Chimmercharlie’s place

But I wasn’t about 2 hours ago… hurhurhur

The mission: Get Muck Up Day Costumes has been completed! I’m going to match Chimmercharlie, Manders and Pheebers. I won’t say WHAT our costume/s is/are… but it’s going to be good :3

I’ve also been looking at Prom Dresses with my mum and have found a few potentials (yay!). Furthermore- I tried on a Cinderella dress at the costume shop and although it wasn’t amazing (I have a photo somewhere) it was better than nothing. I felt like a princess in it- it was like a big kid’s princess dress (sort of like the ones that mums make for their kids…). I’ll upload a picture later if I can…

Prom and Muck Up Day have had me preoccupied for the last 2 days. Muck Up Day is LESS THAN A WEEK AWAY!! I can’t believe my last 4 and a half days of school are finally here!

o.O

Also. I finished the first half of Buffy Season 4 and desperately want to get my hands on the second half of the season. I’ve tried to swear off Supernatural for the next 33 days (well I actually started yesterday… then promptly watched episode 13 of Season 3), but I can see it being very hard. I don’t know what will be harder- watching the Winchester boys suffer… or NOT watching them. Ugh. The hard decisions we fangirls must make.

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Mum’s Home

Mum's Home

So naturally I run as far as I possibly can in the other direction. She’s barely been back 5 hours and we’ve already had a monster fight (my throat is so sore…). Ugh. I knew this would happen. I really don’t see myself getting a Muck Up Day costume OR a Prom Dress. Mumzilla is on the loose and there really isn’t anything I can do about it.

She’s insulted me in every possible manner in the space of one “conversation”. I really don’t think I’ll cope with her being back. We get under each other’s skins and tear each other down.

IT’S SO FRUSTRATING.

I’m with Chimmercharlie now so I’m trying to chill out and focus. I just want to bury reality already. Study is actually an attractive option in comparison to going home- and I don’t mean “study” (the: we’re watching Supernatural lol), I mean STUDY study (as in actually LEARNING things).

I’m so over being 18.

And pre-grad.

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A Surplus of Bad Moods

A Surplus of Bad Moods

So I’ve had a lovely day today! I really have! I went home yesterday and had dinner with the fam and said bye to dad. Then I was invited out with Pheebers to buy her prom dress with her and look around for one for me…

…AND WE FOUND ONE!

I really like it (dare I say love it? :P) and I want to try it on again and show some more people because it’s nearly perfect (far more perfect than I’m expecting to find anywhere else).

Pheebers slept over last night and we watched “Wreck it Ralph” (FINALLY) and ordered McDonalds and all sorts of fun holiday stuff. We wound up going to bed at 3:40am-ish. Woke up at 10 or 11-ish and hung around all day just watching old music videos (I genuinely didn’t realise I knew so many Village People songs!).

At 3:30pm we called taxis and I headed to Chimmercharlie’s to crash her Biology tuition again and Pheebers went home. The tuition went really well! When it finished Chimmercharlie invited me to come out to dinner with her and Manders after my Maths tuition ended and I accepted.

Maths tuition came and went (ugh) and as I was saying goodbye to my tutor the home phone rings. This is where the day/night turns sour.

My mum’s been in Australia for the last week and a bit trying to find a house for when we move home in nearly 3 months. So far it’s been unsuccessful. Really unsuccessful. Everyone is stressing about it. She called earlier tonight while I was in the middle of tuition and my helper told her I’d gone out last night (neglected to mention I’d come home at a decent hour) and then that I was planning to go out for dinner after tuition. Mum- in the bad place that she is in- calls me the second my tuition ends SPECIFICALLY to take out her bad mood on me.

Seriously. Hormonal teenage girl. Maths tuition. Exams fast approaching. Phone call from a stressed out mother. Does she really think I’ll be all sunshine and buttercups on this end of the line?

She picked a fight. Naturally.

So here I am. No dinner. No food in the house FOR dinner (because I hadn’t asked my helper to prepare anything- *first world problems*) because I thought I’d be going OUT for dinner. AAAAND in a bad mood.

Would it KILL my mother to just CHILL THE FUCK OUT!?

I’m 18 for crying out loud! A fact she only thinks to acknowledge when it suits her best. Right now? Nope. Therefore I am a child and I need to do as she says. I can’t go out and meet my friends for dinner and see my dress- heaven forbid I should leave the house after 9pm! In SINGAPORE! Possibly the safest place ON EARTH!

GRRRAHHH!!!!!!!

It’s just so damn FRUSTRATING! I get that she’s stressed out and upset. I GET that. I really, REALLY do! But would it KILL her to just be nice on the phone? I was! I tried to be understanding and just say “ok- I won’t go” but she kept PUSHING it and so I started defending myself and it escalated into her saying: “I think I’ll come home tomorrow if you’re going to be immature”.

**TEARS OUT HAIR**

I really aguishfljgsnkbfd. I just want dinner. And friends. And a prom dress. And to not worry about exams. And have a house in Australia already. And not be a girl.

So I’ve surrendered. I’m sitting ALONE and with no food, watching “Buffy Season 4” because I just give up. I should be out with my friends who have WAITED UNTIL 9PM JUST SO I CAN EAT WITH THEM, but no. I’m sat at home because my mother is in such a bad mood that she has to go and yell at someone about it.

That’s what she does best. Picks fights and then acts like the victim. UGHHHHHHH!!!

Sometimes I really just can’t wait to move out already. In some respects it’ll just be so much friggin’ easier. If this is what she’s going to be like after I graduate then I quit. I’ll move in with someone else. I swear I will. I don’t understand why she can’t just make up her damn mind- am I child or an adult. Pick one and stick with it. Jeez.

I’m going to watch Buffy now and try to chill. Night all.

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Recap of the Day

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I’ve had a lovely day so far! After we stayed up until 3am chatting about boys and such like, we went to sleep until… 10? Ish? Sooooo nice!

Breakfast was phwoarrrrrrrrr! We went to this pancakes place down the road from where Staples lives… Let me show you EXACTLY what I ordered because HOLY MOLY I don’t think I’ll be eating for the rest of the day… no week… no month.

Mine is the chocolatey-o-chocolate one in the top right of the photo... Mmmmm

Mine is the chocolatey-o-chocolate one in the top right of the photo… Mmmmm

I think there is more sugar in my blood than salt. The pancakes were GLORIOUS! Mouth-gasms. I really can’t┬árecommend┬áthe place more (it’s called “Strictly Pancakes”)! Unffff, yum!

After that we (by “we”, I mean Pheebers, Staples and I) hung around her house listening to music and singing and taking photos of each other. It was sooo niiiiice! I felt like I was in one of those girlie movies where they all lie on the bed and chat and it’s idyllic. That’s what it felt like!

Then I had to come back to reality and come to school. I’ve done fuck all. Absolutely nothing.

I played solitare for about an hour… then I got sucked into the vacuum that is Tumblr. I only just clawed my way out of that- but not before finding a picture of my latest movie crush:

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This is “Guy” from “The Croods”. If you haven’t seen it- GO! It’s SO GOOD! I also found out why I fell in love with this character so fast (besides him being utterly gorgeous)- he’s voiced by none other than RYAN FREAKING REYNOLDS!!! ┬á:O :O :O :O :O :O

Did NOT see that one coming! o.O

I’m going to see it again with my dad later tonight. I’m very excited! ­čśÇ

What else….. yeah… I’m going to try and work now. REALLY. I have about 40 minutes. I am so crap. Why can’t I just be motivated like a normal person? It’s like I’m inherently lazy. Procrastination is the only way I know how to live. FML.

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