Mum’s Home

Mum's Home

So naturally I run as far as I possibly can in the other direction. She’s barely been back 5 hours and we’ve already had a monster fight (my throat is so sore…). Ugh. I knew this would happen. I really don’t see myself getting a Muck Up Day costume OR a Prom Dress. Mumzilla is on the loose and there really isn’t anything I can do about it.

She’s insulted me in every possible manner in the space of one “conversation”. I really don’t think I’ll cope with her being back. We get under each other’s skins and tear each other down.

IT’S SO FRUSTRATING.

I’m with Chimmercharlie now so I’m trying to chill out and focus. I just want to bury reality already. Study is actually an attractive option in comparison to going home- and I don’t mean “study” (the: we’re watching Supernatural lol), I mean STUDY study (as in actually LEARNING things).

I’m so over being 18.

And pre-grad.

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A Surplus of Bad Moods

A Surplus of Bad Moods

So I’ve had a lovely day today! I really have! I went home yesterday and had dinner with the fam and said bye to dad. Then I was invited out with Pheebers to buy her prom dress with her and look around for one for me…

…AND WE FOUND ONE!

I really like it (dare I say love it? :P) and I want to try it on again and show some more people because it’s nearly perfect (far more perfect than I’m expecting to find anywhere else).

Pheebers slept over last night and we watched “Wreck it Ralph” (FINALLY) and ordered McDonalds and all sorts of fun holiday stuff. We wound up going to bed at 3:40am-ish. Woke up at 10 or 11-ish and hung around all day just watching old music videos (I genuinely didn’t realise I knew so many Village People songs!).

At 3:30pm we called taxis and I headed to Chimmercharlie’s to crash her Biology tuition again and Pheebers went home. The tuition went really well! When it finished Chimmercharlie invited me to come out to dinner with her and Manders after my Maths tuition ended and I accepted.

Maths tuition came and went (ugh) and as I was saying goodbye to my tutor the home phone rings. This is where the day/night turns sour.

My mum’s been in Australia for the last week and a bit trying to find a house for when we move home in nearly 3 months. So far it’s been unsuccessful. Really unsuccessful. Everyone is stressing about it. She called earlier tonight while I was in the middle of tuition and my helper told her I’d gone out last night (neglected to mention I’d come home at a decent hour) and then that I was planning to go out for dinner after tuition. Mum- in the bad place that she is in- calls me the second my tuition ends SPECIFICALLY to take out her bad mood on me.

Seriously. Hormonal teenage girl. Maths tuition. Exams fast approaching. Phone call from a stressed out mother. Does she really think I’ll be all sunshine and buttercups on this end of the line?

She picked a fight. Naturally.

So here I am. No dinner. No food in the house FOR dinner (because I hadn’t asked my helper to prepare anything- *first world problems*) because I thought I’d be going OUT for dinner. AAAAND in a bad mood.

Would it KILL my mother to just CHILL THE FUCK OUT!?

I’m 18 for crying out loud! A fact she only thinks to acknowledge when it suits her best. Right now? Nope. Therefore I am a child and I need to do as she says. I can’t go out and meet my friends for dinner and see my dress- heaven forbid I should leave the house after 9pm! In SINGAPORE! Possibly the safest place ON EARTH!

GRRRAHHH!!!!!!!

It’s just so damn FRUSTRATING! I get that she’s stressed out and upset. I GET that. I really, REALLY do! But would it KILL her to just be nice on the phone? I was! I tried to be understanding and just say “ok- I won’t go” but she kept PUSHING it and so I started defending myself and it escalated into her saying: “I think I’ll come home tomorrow if you’re going to be immature”.

**TEARS OUT HAIR**

I really aguishfljgsnkbfd. I just want dinner. And friends. And a prom dress. And to not worry about exams. And have a house in Australia already. And not be a girl.

So I’ve surrendered. I’m sitting ALONE and with no food, watching “Buffy Season 4” because I just give up. I should be out with my friends who have WAITED UNTIL 9PM JUST SO I CAN EAT WITH THEM, but no. I’m sat at home because my mother is in such a bad mood that she has to go and yell at someone about it.

That’s what she does best. Picks fights and then acts like the victim. UGHHHHHHH!!!

Sometimes I really just can’t wait to move out already. In some respects it’ll just be so much friggin’ easier. If this is what she’s going to be like after I graduate then I quit. I’ll move in with someone else. I swear I will. I don’t understand why she can’t just make up her damn mind- am I child or an adult. Pick one and stick with it. Jeez.

I’m going to watch Buffy now and try to chill. Night all.

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I Feel So Lazy

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I could have blogged 100 times today… but I’m too lazy. Apathy had fallen over me and I can’t be bothered to shake it off.

Everything is just… meh.

I’m supposed to be going out clubbing in a few hours and I really can’t be bothered. I just want to dance with a hot guy and I know the chances of that are slim to none so I therefore have no motivation to go. I know that’s a bad reason to go clubbing but I don’t care.

Ughhhhhhhh.

Today was a bit of an adventure though. Very up and down-y.

When I woke up this morning I knew I had to work. I was really pumped and ready to work. However, I had to return the movies dad and I had borrowed earlier this week, so I did. Then I meandered over to the pharmacy and got some cotton buds… then I wandered over to the book store (they really shouldn’t have put the three damn shops next to each other) and LO- they were having a book sale! Books from $4 and up!

Naturally, I scoured the entire basket. No joke- I looked at every single title they had in the sale section (when I walked away, they piles were much tidier than when I’d walked in- thank you OCD) and wound up buying 3 books- “Sense, Sensibility and Sea Monsters”, “Emma” and “Persuasion”- for $12!!!!! ONLY $12!! I was chuffed with that, let me tell you! Haha!

To make the day even better, I bumped into my old Latin teacher and chatted with her for a while. She’s so lovely, it sucks that she doesn’t teach at the school anymore…

Anyway, after that I started my journey into school. Only I didn’t quiet get that far. I had planned to get a taxi to Holland Village (for those of you who don’t live in Singapore…. ummm… it’s sort of a tourist place… sort of… ummm… I’ll add a photo below) to get some food from the hawker before heading into school.

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But of course after my run of good luck that morning it had to go sour. It started raining. That means no taxis. Fine, that was fine. I was okay with that. This is Singapore. It rains all the time. I walked across the road and caught the bus, planning to get off near Holland Village. The bus was fairly crowded- but nothing impossible. Except for these two rat-bag children with their helper who got on just before me (I’m courteous like that) and they beeped on and just stood there. They completely blocked the entrance of the bus so that I had to stand by the driver. Just as we were about to arrive at Holland Village I started to push through them to get to the exit door- only for it to shut in my face as I beep off. The bus was bustling at this point and I couldn’t shout to the driver to let me off. The front door was open to let people on, but the back door was shut and I couldn’t get off.

I stood there like a lemming until the bus started moving again. I was furious. This little detour cost me about half an hour (in Singapore terms that’s a long time). AND it was raining so traffic was slower than usual. Eventually we got to a bus stop that I could jump off at and swap to the other side of the road to make my way back to the stop I was supposed to originally get to.

Maybe I should make something clear to non-Singaporeans. When it rains here- it doesn’t just rain a little. It rains a lot. We’re talking tropical storms here people. You step out of the shelter for even a second and you’re drenched. Soaked. Wet to the bone. With that in mind I shall proceed. Once I got off at Holland Village I had to try and shove the books into my backpack and pray it was waterproof because there’s no cover between the bus stop and the hawker. None. Ughhhhh.

I ran for it- got drenched- and thankfully didn’t slip over (flip-flops are a blessing and a curse here. Good because if it rains then whatever, it’s not like you’re ruining them. Bad because you fall over on everything). By the time I’d bought lunch… the rain had stopped. It took me about 5 minutes to buy lunch and the rain had completely stopped. I wanted to laugh and or punch something. If I want to look at it with a silver lining- at least the detour meant that I waited the rain out long enough for it to be no problem when trying to get a taxi after buying lunch (OUCH, would you LOOK at that bad english, haha).

So yeah. I got a cab pretty quickly after that.

But everything comes with a pinch of salt. My taxi driver was deaf. Not in the “oh he went the wrong way” kind of deaf. In the “he actually has no clue what I’m saying right now unless I shout and gesture wildly” kind of way. I had to cling to the front seat (I never sit in the front… I have no idea why not…) and point the direction to head in constantly (my arm was like the needle on a compass) in order to get to school.

*Sigh*

Anyway, I got to school. Sat with Chimmercharlie for a bit. Decided we were bored so we packed up and headed into the Music Dept. Sang a few songs from “Les Mis” really loud for a while… then started going through our operatic songs and danced around like fools. Went home. I had dinner and watched “Hyperdrive” with dad for a bit.

Which brings us up to date with now! 🙂

I am supposed to be going to Chimmercharlie’s for a sleepover tonight. I said I’d be at hers in around half an hour-ish. Oooops. That’s really not going to happen, haha. (If she’s reading this- SORRYYYYY hurhurhur!)

Uhmmm, yeah, we’re going to go clubbing and then tomorrow I’m crashing her tuition. Then back to school to work and THEN I GET TO WATCH “THE CROODS” WITH MY DAD!!!! 😀

Can’t wait to watch that movie again. Mmmmmmmmmmm :3

So yeah. I better go get ready! Byee! 🙂

Lunchtime Lecture

On Friday last week I went to a Classics lecture and I just googled the guy who gave the lecture and found this:

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Ughh!!!! The whole University thing is getting to me more than usual. All (99% at least) of my friends are going to the UK and I’m off to Australia. I know the degree I want to do… but as far as I’m concerned it’s only offered at Exeter… which, if I’m not wrong, is only ~63 miles from Bristol… where Chimmercharlie is planning to go.

I know you’re not supposed to go where your friends go… and if I applied to Exeter I wouldn’t be following people per se… I’d just be going with the crowd. But the most compelling argument for applying to the UK (in a sudden change of heart…) is that it is the ONLY place I’ve found that offers the degree I want.

Dead serious.

I want to do Ancient History and Archaeology. Exeter offers it. See?

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*Cries*

Nowhere in Australia offers it. I’ve looked and looked and looked. I’ve emailed the Universities… it really isn’t offered there. To make matters worse, I don’t live there so enquiring about it instead of just emailing is nearly impossible. I shouldn’t be worrying about it until after the exams, even I changed my mind and applied I’d still be going in a year behind everyone else.

I so desperately want to do Ancient History and Archaeology… I don’t want to lose my friends either… this is a solve for both. It does my degree!!! Does anyone realise how torturous it is to know that the degree DOES EXIST but I can’t take it? I mean I could… but I’m not sure if I’d be allowed to.

Moving to the UK… it’s against everything in me. I have always dreamed of going home to Australia and being with my whole family. Australia is the dream. But this dream… it isn’t as complete as I like to make it out to be.

The degree isn’t there. The family is a shattered mess all over the country. I don’t even have a preference as to which Uni I want to go to.

The thing about Australia though… WEATHER. WEATHER. WEATHER. And… um WEATHER. But aside from that it’s just easier! I’ll be with my family (more or less), I’m pretty much guaranteed entry for a single degree (29 points people… 29. UK is asking minimum of 36.) and there’s no “UCAS” and “Personal Statement” bullshit. It’s straight-up grades for Australia.

UGHHHHHHHHH!!! I’m going to focus on my work. I can’t think about these things. It’s giving me heartache. And a headache. And a pit in the bottom of my stomach.

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Being Irresponsible

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So last night I did a few things I really shouldn’t have. But lets start from the beginning…

Yesterday I had the medical lecture thing, it had its share of boring and funny parts (more funny than boring to be honest!). I didn’t realise such a large group of adults were coming with us. They’re all really nice and really funny, each has their own interesting story (one girl backpacked across 50 different countries because she was inspired by NatGeo- a lot of Asian countries, so it wouldn’t have been as mind-blowingly expensive as it sounds). She’s really nice, I think I might end up talking to her a lot on the trip.

So when that was over, Buiface (she’s going on the Ladakh trip with me so she was at the lecture too) and I went to buy my sister some filthy liquids (a.k.a. Smirnoff) because she gave me the money and was going to a party. We had froyo (yummm) and chatted for a while, but then she wanted to go shopping and I had to get the bottle to my sister so she could leave for the party.

While she was at the party, I went out to ‘Thai Express’ for dinner with two girlfriends. (I was half way to where we were going for dinner when I realised I’d left my keys at home and so I asked my sister to leave the doors unlocked or the keys out for me somewhere so I could get in later- I had no curfew and no idea what time I’d be home… the start of my irresponsibility- this plays a major part later. Anyway, my sister said yeah she’d leave keys out for me.) After that we MRT-ed it to Clarke Quay for drinks at Chuppitos, more friends joined us when we got there (including Chimmercharlie). I didn’t drink ’til Chimmercharlie showed up (then I had two shots because I’m getting braver/badass/embracing my adulthood or teenhood or whatever). I FOUND THE NAME OF THE SHOT I LIKE! It’s called the “Red Headed Slut”. I highly recommend it if you don’t like the taste of alcohol- I don’t like the taste and am highly aware of alcohol in drinks (people are lying when they say you can’t taste vodka), but I can hardly pick up the booze in this shot!

Anyway, after that we were approached and offered free entry and drinks at ‘Rebel’. Okay, anyone that lives in Singapore would know that ‘Rebel’ used to be attached to two other clubs- ‘Zirca’ and ‘Groove’. ‘Zirca’ is where anyone underaged goes (it was where I used to go- I loved it there! They had cages that moved up and down while you danced in them- SO MUCH FUN!) but because of that, people didn’t like going AND the police got involved once too many times and ‘Zirca’ was shut down. In fact, all three were. Or so I thought…

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Apparently ‘Rebel’ was reopened (but now the entrance is where ‘Zirca’s entrance used to be- such a mind-fuck for people that know the club. I don’t understand how they moved ‘Rebel’ INTO ‘Zirca’… argh I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just really confusing… it’s like they rotated the actual floorplan and didn’t knock anything down…. it’s just too much for my mind haha… But anyway. They did. Here’s the interior:

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It’s alright but there’s no moving cages… and in the case of last night… no people. Haha. So we hung around there for about 10 minutes (we had VIP stamps so we waited for it to get a bit exciting… it didn’t. Then again, it wasn’t really late yet).

Chimmercharlie then proclaimed that she wanted shots so her, one of the guys and I all left for Chuppitos again. I had two shots (yum) and then Chimmercharlie and I decided to go back and leave the guys there (another guy friend joined us) and on the way back we bumped into the girls who went to Chuppitos while we went to the bridge to prowl (the bridge is basically this “catwalk” where groups of people sit on the sides of the bridge and check out the girls walking through, at the same time the girls are walking through looking for hot guys to start talking to). We didn’t see anyone that we desperately wanted to go and talk to BUT we did get approached by a guy in a suit who offered us free entry and drinks at ‘Le Noir’.

Okay. Let me give you some background on ‘Le Noir’. Up until last night I’d never been because it’s supposedly really strict on I.D. (which isn’t a problem for me anymore) and because it’s where the teachers go clubbing. That’s my main reason for avoiding it. It’s where the teachers go. Seeing as the kids at my school have pretty much taken over every other club at Clarke Quay, I avoid ‘Le Noir’ out of respect for the teachers. There really isn’t anywhere else they can go. I always thought it was massively swanky and gorgeous on the inside. All the windows are blacked out and so all you can see from outside are the lights. ‘Le Noir’ is known for being a place for pretty people and I always thought it was out of my league.

So here was this guy telling us he could get us free entry! So of course we went with him.

I was surprised as hell when we got in. Not at the fact we’d gotten in, I’m 18 now, come on. No, I was surprised because it was TINY… and I mean tiny.

‘Zirca’ was huge! I mean, it’s three clubs combined, it had a massive dance floor right in the middle of the club. I thought it was great! Then I was “upgraded” to Attica (I always thought ‘Zirca’ was better than ‘Attica’ because it’s a waaay nicer space) because I was of age. ‘Attica’, I’ve always complained, is tiny. The dancefloor would probably fit 25 people… 50 at a crush… It has two floors so I guess that makes it okay, but I don’t like ‘Attica’ as much as I liked ‘Zirca’. BUT GOODNESS- if ‘Attica’ is small then ‘Le Noir’ is MIDGET. Seriously. I didn’t even see a dance floor. Maybe we didn’t explore it enough, but from where I stood there was no dancefloor. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF A CLUB WITH NO DANCEFLOOR?

Inside ‘Le Noir’:

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Look, I’m not saying it’s not luxurious. The interior is gorgeous! But it really came across as a club for older people (not OLD people… just older. Like teachers.). *Sigh* So that was a little disappointing.

After that Chimmercharlie and I sat on the bridge for 15 minutes before deciding to go home (the rest had already left- but out of 5 of them, 4 had gone to one of our guyfriend’s house). I texted my friend and asked if I could join them at his house (he lives a 5 minute walk away from my house so I wasn’t going miles out of my way), she said sure. Chimmercharlie had to go home though- she had tuition this morning- SUCKAAAA hahahahaha.

So I showed up at the house at about 1-1:30am? I can’t remember the exact time, I just know we left Clarke Quay at around 12:30-12:45… Whatever, it’s irrelevant. To pass the time we decided to play a few cheeky games. Let’s just say… I’m  glad I’ve known all these people for YEARS. Seriously. I’ve never laughed so hard. It was so much fun.

I’ve been given the new nickname “Supergirl”. It’s like the 5 of us are part of some sort of pact because we just look at each other and laugh knowingly.

So, so, so, so much fun. We swore that what happened in that room, STAYED in that room. So I’m not at liberty to share, unfortunately for you all 😉 haha

At 3am we called it quits and all went home.

So here’s where the night got… well… interesting to say the least. My sister had left the keys out for me. BUT the keys she left out only unlocked the gate and not the sliding door. Effectively, I was locked out. So I texted her about 500 times and when that didn’t work, I called her again and again and again. She had been up an hour before (I’d been texting her, she said she’d stay up until I got home). 

At about 3:30am I knew I had no other choice and I had to phone and wake up my helper.

I have no idea how much trouble I’m going to be in when my parents fly in tonight. Seriously. I had a story all lined up for my helper when she opened the door (my sister is now in on it too so hopefully our allied front will work against the wrath of my parents). I’m a little nervous, but I’m praying to whatever is out there that my helper doesn’t tell OR that my parents don’t kill me.

My sister felt so guilty that she did all the chores (including mine) and woke me up when I’d asked her to. I’m not furious with her, just a little miffed. I don’t know why I’m not more mad. I should be… but she felt so bad that I really can’t be mad at her. So now we’ve just got to wait for the fall out to hit.

I’m at school now, working. I have SO MUCH WORK due in tomorrow. Yesterday was a really bad idea (as far as responsibilities go)… and now I need to work my ASS off to fix this.

So yeah.

Hope my escapades last night made you smile, I had a blast! Time to work though!

Counting Down

Counting Down

So dad’s going to pick me up at 2pm (only 2 hours more to survive!).

I’m in English and we’ve hardly started and Mr. Asshole is already royally pissing me off. And the other girl (I need to give her a nickname…) is also pissing me off.

Basically, the girl that pisses me off is counting down the number of schooldays until we finish Year 13. I am counting down until the first day of exams. I have no problem with count downs. None. Nada. You know what I *do* have a problem with? TELLING PEOPLE THAT DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!!

She walked in and was all “oh my god, I was in class and blah blah really hates me now, I think I pissed the whole class off because I told them all we only have 18 more wake ups blah blah blah, why would they be mad at me? I mean, surely that’s what they want to know? Only 18 more wake ups! Yay.”

And her little minion was all “oh my god you’re so right! Why and how could they possibly hate you? Oh my gaaaaaaahd”

Yeah. It’s sickening.

FUCK OFF THE WITH FUCKING TOK REFERENCES MR. ASSHOLE!!!! OMG! THEY’RE GONE SHUT UP!

Sorry, he just mentioned TOK…. he always does… I think he just knows how to push my buttons and does so. Repeatedly. I wonder if he can read my mind and is just trying to see how far he can wind me up before I explode and go ape-shit in the classroom and never return again. He’s doing a pretty damn good job. I think I’m about 7 shitty comments away from walking out. We’re supposed to be watching the ending of “Streetcar Named Desire”… he’s blathering on about exams. UGH!

Anyway, back to the countdown thing. I have a count down, I hate it, but I have it because I know it’ll make me work. THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FORCE THAT ON OTHER PEOPLE! If someone doesn’t have a count down or doesn’t ASK you for how many days left… IT GENERALLY MEANS THEY DON’T CARE OR WANT TO KNOW! JEEZ! IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE?

I wonder why they hate my poor little delicate bitch of a classmate? I don’t… Maybe it’s because she’s just being insensitive. Perhaps they don’t need the extra pressure. I wonder if maybe it’s because, unlike her, they can’t/don’t take days off school because they’re feeling “a little stressed out”/”hung over”. Gee, I wonder why people would hate on a girl that just reminds them of how short a time it is before we all die in the exams.

GODDAMN I CAN’T STAND HER!! It doesn’t help that I’m sick. Ugh. People.

Just got to survive this. Then choir. Then I go home. Ewwwww, I have tuition tonight…….. ughhhhhh. If he claps at me to make me shut up again I think I’ll slap him.

Is it even possible to be this horrible all the time? I really hope I’m a freak of nature… it would suck if there are more people out there like me (suck for the person and suck for the people that have to deal with them)… I feel sorry for my friends and family. I really don’t know how they put up with me, but I’m glad they do…

Okay. 40 minutes until the end of the lesson. Ignore the throbbing headache. Ignore the awful sick feeling. Ignore that you want to throttle the teacher. Just breathe and focus on how fast the clock is moving.

If I go down for homicide then I’ll make sure to let you all know before I’m locked up.

HOLD UP.

HE JUST SAID HE’S MISDIRECTED US. OH MY GOD. HE HAS PUSHED ANOTHER BUTTON. HOLY SHIT. HOW IS HE DOING THIS. OMG. HE CAN ONLY SAY ANOTHER 6 FUCKING THINGS BEFORE I KILL HIM OR JUMP OUT THE WINDOW.

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Youtube Makes Everything Better

Youtube Makes Everything Better

I am so tired that my face hurts… still. I’m in the shittiest mood imaginable. Everything physically hurts and I have NO work done… I fell into bed the second after I finished the post last night.

Anyway, I came in feeling crappy and all that, only for my tutor to have “I Knew You Were Trouble (Goat Edition)” up on screen (I might link it for the rest of you when I get home- youtube is blocked at school). We proceeded to watch about 50 more such videos. I am very happy right now. :3

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